I have struggles.
Written on 10 March 2004 at 10:54 a.m.

Morning morning morning.

I am so confused about the whole pregnancy thing that I can't even think of a way to type it all out so I will summarize with the word ARGH. I wish I would be less confusing and figure out what I wanted. Actually I wish I could figure out what God wants for us now... I am looking for messages but it seems like I keep getting conflicting messages. Sometimes I wish God would just send an email, or something. Heh.

This cycle is still not over and I have had a different luteal phase every month since going off the pill, plus I'm not totally sure when I ovulated, so I don't know if testing now would be a good idea or not. TELL ME. I seek guidance. Except don't tell me to test tommorrow morning cause that's my birthday and I don't want a negative test on my birthday. And I'm almost sure it's going to be negative but I just want to know.

Anyway. I should have just said my argh and left it at that because yeah.

Puppy found a new home! Some girls called about him and came to see him and he was being sooo sweet and love-y to them... it's like he knew he was on an "audition." Anyway they lurved him and took him home and promised to spoil him rotten so I'm happy. Murphy is so lonely though... he keeps asking to go out and then rushing around looking for the puppy, and then when he realizes he's not there he starts whining. Heartbreaking.

Today I have to do our taxes, take Jason's shoes to the shoe-fixer, and go shopping with mom for my birthday gift hooray. I want a nice dress to wear on Easter and at graduation functions so yeah.

Anyway I should shower. We went to the gym and I have had my breakfast.

Don't forget to leave me advice if you have any... I have a first response early test thing which is taunting me but maybe I should just save it?

Anyway.

xoxoxoxoxo lots.