million trillion
Written on 18 May 2004 at 11:03 a.m.

Oh my oh my oh my.

I am going to try and be logical and coherent but I bet I will blather on. Anyway.

I feel a million things. A million trillion things. I feel like it's not real, first of all. After that I feel worried. Worried about the baby being okay, worried that I'll be a terrible mother, worried about all this insurance crap, worried that this is totally the wrong time for this, worried about what I eat and blah blah blah. And under all that worry I think I am excited but mostly it is buried in worry.

And I feel like I need a PLAN. Like some kind of LIST or CHART of stuff to do. I know I need to call the insurance people but that sounds so sucky. Calling people ugh. And I got some library books but reading them just makes me feel worse.

I have been telling random people because I suck at keeping a secret. A girl in my current rotation has year-old twins and she was wondering why I was pricing carseats so yeah. And then there was another girl standing there. And I emailed my best friend from school and she is lovely and helpful and told me about a study that said mothers who ate chocolate had babies with better temperaments. And she's calling me later. She has a seven-month-old.

What did I tell you about the blathering?

Jason is really being quite nice even though he is freaked-out and whatnot. At random times he's been saying, "You're pregnant??"

We haven't told our families yet. I think we'll wait awhile. How long should we wait? They are going to be baffled that I don't want any champagne at graduation, since I'm generally all about the champagne.

Okay that's all. I need some lunch and a giant nap. I'm SO sleepy and my head is pounding. It wonders why I forgot to drink coffee this morning. Poor head. Get used to it.

Okay seriously.

xoxoox

p.s. THANK YOU for all the nice messages. :)